@Nicolelise

This is a question I would say has always gotten the best of me. It seems like for the longest I’ve struggled with writing goals, and carrying them out. Now this isn’t to say I’ve spent the last decade of my life doing absolutely nothing. A lot has happened. I’ve gotten married, had two little babies, had multiple job changes, promotions, etc. I guess you could say I’ve done all the right things, the things we’re supposed to do as we get older right?

Ever since I was little I was taught, you go to school, get good grades, and go to college. Once in college, you get good grades again, graduate, get a “good job” and work. Then you have the lovely privilege of paying back all the student loans you didn’t think twice about signing the line for! If I had known then what I know now, I probably would’ve picked a different degree altogether! Granted, I still love the study of Psychology, so maybe not?

I was trained to be an academic machine. Get good grades. A’s and B’s, C’s are unacceptable. At least in my house they were. I remember I got a D on an exam in Vocal Music. I had never seen my dad so livid. Now I’m not saying I was the perfect child, but I did what I was taught to do (for the most part). I was terrified to go home to show my mom and dad that D. Because I had never gotten such a terrible grade! I was a honor roll, AP class taking student. I prided myself on good grades, high GPA’s, and being smart. I don’t know how things are done nowadays but being in honor classes was a status symbol in high school. It meant you were smarter, well behaved; it set you apart.

I think that contributed to a part of being perfect I didn’t realize I carried with me into my adult years. There was no room for imperfection. There was no room for mistakes, for questions, for anything other than scratching the surface. I guess you could say there was little to no room for error.

Back to the topic at hand, I unknowingly had others making decisions for me. My goals were the goals of my parents, but there was no personal connection to those objectives other than it was the right thing to do. It worked out well. Until it was time to become an adult and I was faced with having to make my own decisions, choose what’s important, and decide what matters to me- not what matters to someone else for me. Can you say I didn’t know what was next?

What was life after the college graduation, after the life milestones? This is the season of embracing the unknown, taking chances, and being comfortable with others being uncomfortable. I am reminded, time is going to pass regardless- you might as well do something. So this is the season of: if not now, when?